


eyes filled with stardust

by wadingpool



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, But only for one of them, Childhood Friends, Colorblindness, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, IwaOi are soulmates tbh, M/M, Minor Memory Loss, Pining Iwaizumi Hajime, Pining Oikawa Tooru, Slow Burn, Star Tears AU, Star Tears Disease AU, 星涙病
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-21
Updated: 2020-04-22
Packaged: 2021-03-02 00:07:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,799
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23765851
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wadingpool/pseuds/wadingpool
Summary: He wonders where these stars come from and he wonders if they are the same ones that Iwaizumi and he gazed at when they were younger, and Iwaizumi had gifted him a telescope on his birthday. He wonders if those that they had seen had finally reached the earth, only to finish their journey in Oikawa’s eyes, destined to fall to his hands. He stands there, transfixed on those petite celestial flames and suddenly, the stars stopped falling and down fell the salty tears he knew so well, mixing with the milky white liquid, causing the bright lights to swirl with the water and it was almost like staring at the night sky.
Relationships: Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru
Comments: 2
Kudos: 15





	1. blues and greens

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! This is my first Haikyuu!! fic and I hope you all enjoy it! It is based on the Star Tears AU, which is similar to the Hanahaki AU except instead of coughing up flower petals and dying, you cry stars that are accompanied by sound and slowly become colorblind. I plan on writing another of these fics for probably Bungo Stray Dogs tbh so I'm looking forward to that lmao
> 
> It's final seasons too and I got hit with this idea so here we are! It'll probably be updated somewhat infrequently and won't be too long! this is mostly self indulgent tbh
> 
> I hope you enjoy and my Tumblr is linked at the end!

The first time had felt like his eyes were ablaze, liquid fire streaming down his cheeks as the pure-white pain he felt scorched his eye sockets. It took everything in him not to scream as he shut his eyes, hoping the tears and the deafening chime of soft twinkling echoing in his eardrums would stop. He had heard the first time was the worst, that the suddenness of it was enough to make your stomach churn and your heart turn inside out. It was too much too soon and he could only hold on as the sensation of galaxies leaking from his eyes thundered in his mind, filling it with a melody that he’d only heard in the form of a gruff voice, the perfect spike, and in warm embraces from a childhood memory of years ago. It was so distinctly _Iwaizumi_ that there was no debate on who it could be. It was not like there was anyone else that he would rather spend every moment of every day with for the rest of his life.

He opened his eyes and was met with the stars he had cried for Iwaizumi, the only source of light available in the bathroom adjacent to his room. He stared at the swirling blues and greens and knew it would be the first color to go and wasn’t that just the icing on the cake? His eyes were much the same color, a swirl of emotion that crashed upon Oikawa like a tsunami, the kind that would leave no survivors in its wake, though he knew intimately it would not destroy. He knew it was not genuine, seldom was it so, it was simply the expelling of emotions with the names that could not be placed. For though Iwaizumi’s anger ran rampant like a tsunami, the wind did not tear the shillings off the roof of homes and did not bring down century-old trees, nor did the cold rain tear at skin and metal alike, nor did it leave tragedy behind; the tsunami was but a cool summer rain that he accepted with open arms for it was one of the only ways the other could express as tender words were hidden away.

So Oikawa stared into his hands, eyes searing as he cried the luminescent greens and blues of the night sky and he wonders why must he cry them for the very person who hung them in that expansive darkness for the world, for Oikawa, to see. He wonders where these stars come from and he wonders if they are the same ones that Iwaizumi and he gazed at when they were younger, and Iwaizumi had gifted him a telescope on his birthday. He wonders if those that they had seen had finally reached the earth, only to finish their journey in Oikawa’s eyes, destined to fall to his hands. He stands there, transfixed on those petite celestial flames and suddenly, the stars stopped falling and down fell the salty tears he knew so well, mixing with the milky white liquid, causing the bright lights to swirl with the water and it was almost like staring at the night sky.

He washes his hands and cheeks of Iwaizumi’s stars and lies in bed, chimes ringing in his ears although they had fallen silent when the last of the stars fell, only to be replaced with the ocean. It made little difference to Oikawa as the pain still tore at his heart, leaving a gaping wound in its wake.

The tears were a constant partner that he kept to himself, his little secret that he carries in the same little locked box in his heart that carries his feelings for Iwaizumi. The days carry on as if nothing were wrong, and there was nothing wrong, regardless of how dull and murky the green of the trees look or how their uniform looks as if it were washed one too many times in the wash, or that Iwaizumi’s green eyes are starting to seem gray instead of the green that Oikawa remembers from their childhood. Everything was fine and it does not matter what face Oikawa must use to hide behind, nor how many he must use, nor how Iwaizumi shoots him a questioning look only moments after seeing him in the morning. Everything is fine and Oikawa does not think of stars or a nostalgic, sweet song that rings from bells.

He wakes up one morning, and he sees gray where blue used to expand across the sky and sees gray where there was once green in the leaves of his mother’s witch-hazel tree. It is interesting, he thinks, as he sees that some of the leaves of the tree have already started fading to a yellow from the gray. He wonders what the next color will be. The thought is immediately dispelled from his mind and he continues on with the day, the absence of the familiar greens and blues hanging over his head as if they were a sword. Iwaizumi was here for the two of them to walk to school, like he always was, like he had done since they were tiny little things filled with mischief and adventure, a time where stars stayed in the sky and the sky was blue and the leaves were green. When he sees Iwaizumi, it almost feels like the sword would fall straight down and skewer him, as he sees Iwaizumi’s eyes are now gray. Oikawa must have stood there too long for Iwaizumi clicked his tongue against his teeth in annoyance and reached for Oikawa’s hand, pulling him out of the house and into a world that contained all colors but green and blue and all in between. “C’mon, Shittykawa. We’re going to be late and I still need to collect that cash from Mattsun,” The box in his heart creaks terribly at the warmth he feels from Iwaizumi’s hand and Oikawa feels like he could cry. It was cruel how something that was so commonplace between them now was torturous and painful. Iwaizumi turns, blind to the cruelty he does, pulling Oikawa further out of the doorway and Oikawa takes the time to close his eyes and breath, stars on the verge of falling and they were right. The second time was more bearable. Oikawa follows Iwaizumi because it was what he loved to do; he would follow the other to the end of the earth if Iwaizumi wished to visit it. Oikawa secures his mask, fortifies the tiny box the best he can despite the large crack in it, and gives out a laugh that may have been just a bit too gentle. “Don’t rush me, Iwa-chan! I had to get ready, I have to look perfect, y’know,” He can imagine Iwaizumi’s ~~green~~ _gray_ eyes rolling and feels the box give one final creak as he follows after Iwaizumi, unknowing to the soft smile that spread across the other’s face, the sun in the summer rain. Oikawa wipes at the stray stream of stars and stares at his hand, seeing the last of the green he’d ever see in the world and he clenches the color of Iwaizumi's eyes.


	2. red string of fate and other melodies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Churned this out right before my finals tomorrow phew here's some Iwazumi
> 
> gonna be real with yall idk how to write mattsun and hanamaki so they're just tangentially here

He’s read the same excerpt in the old textbook they had lying around the house so many times that Iwaizumi might as well have memorized it as a prayer. He reads it again, just one more time, the spine of the once hardcover already in tatters and creased to hell and back.

> _The eye perceives color when certain wavelengths of light are reflected off the object and enters the eye through the lens. The message is then sent to the retina where photoreceptors in the shape of cones or rods interpret the message. Color vision is interpreted by the cones. In a patient with star tear disease, these cones are singed and rendered relatively useless, thus causing a number of other ophthalmologic aberrations in addition to color vision deficiency._

It was something that he had seared in his brain, a chant that got him through a grayscale day and small gaps in his memory.

> _In research carried out by the University of Tokyo, the link between star tear disease and memory loss was studied with ample evidence that the disease targeted the hippocampus once a certain percentage of color vision was lost. The degree of memory loss depends on a patient to patient basis as the level of romantic attraction varies. Most commonly is basic short-term memory loss, however, there are multiple instances of severe memory loss._

He supposes he was lucky; he didn’t forget his friends’ names, nor did he forget the pitch of Oikawa’s voice, or the way Oikawa’s hand felt clasped in his, or how hitting a perfectly set ball felt. He loathed forgetting anything, though, and had resorted to writing down everything in journals he’s kept since the damned disease decided to affect his life. He first cried stars as he and Oikawa stared at the night sky at the tender age of twelve. The sky shook and had come crashing down in Iwaizumi’s eyes. He remembers the exact moment it happened, had written it down as the first thing in the multiple volumes of journals he’s amassed. Remembers how he had turned, the dew on the grass sticking to his hair and clothes, blades tickling his arms and the night air just on that side of chilly. He turns and he sees Oikawa and something about the stars shining down on him, warm brown eyes pitch black in the enveloping darkness of the hour, bright as if his eyes were one with the night sky and it was in that moment that it struck Iwaizumi. He never could figure out when exactly he did fall in love with Oikawa, but it was all revealed under a night with glittering stars and with someone that took his breath away.

> _The only known cure to star tear disease is the returning of romantic affection to the patent from the person they have imprinted on._

Oikawa had ended up falling asleep, eyes had been drooping close for the past few minutes and as Iwaizumi stared at his dearest friend he couldn’t help the sheer pain that escaped his eyes as the stars bled out of them and he knew then, staring at Oikawa’s peaceful, sleeping face that he would never be able to say anything. All he can do is smile as they burn his eyes and as they ring out like Oikawa’s laughter does.

Looking back, he knows it was not because he worried that Oikawa would distance himself from Iwaizumi; they had known each other for much too long for that to even be an option. It was that Oikawa was the strongest person he knew. Oikawa shone so brightly that Iwaizumi was sure that light was what directly inserted those stars into his eyes, and he couldn’t even find himself to be mad about. He could never really be mad at Oikawa. Oikawa, who stood tall and laughed in the face of adversity. Oikawa who was so incredibly sharp yet stubborn to a fault. Oikawa, whose mistakes hung so heavily on him, and strove and worked himself to the bone to always rise above. Oikawa and his stupid, stupid pride that didn’t allow him to back down once. Oikawa was beautiful, frustrating, powerful, and irritating to Iwaizumi and for that reason, he did not feel anger for the stars or his lacking vision or the holes in his memory. He does not regret loving Oikawa because to do so would be a sin in his eyes, for despite all Iwaizumi insults Oikawa or is rough with him, he never means any of it and bless Oikawa for knowing that. It’s humbling to have someone know you so intimately and exhilarating to know the person just as well.

He knows he will be there for Oikawa, regardless of distance, because when Oikawa stumbles, when he shatters, Iwaizumi is there to be there for him to fall back on. He hates when Oikawa brings himself down because can he truly not see himself? How was Oikawa so blind to how much he shined and how important he was to those around him? How he was able to bring out the best in all of them? It all infuriated Iwaizumi, he hated seeing Oikawa break down, and he knew he was rough about it, but he knew the last thing Oikawa needed was someone treating him like glass. Oikawa was strong and so was Iwaizumi and he refused to treat his friend as weaker than he was. So, he drills into Oikawa’s thick head through headbutts, kicks, harsh words, and stray volleyballs. He doesn’t hold back and if the wicked smile and blazing eyes, or the happy chime of a voice or laugh that was the same melody that accompanied stars was anything to go by, Oikawa understood him perfectly. He wonders if there was ever a chance of him not loving him and decides there never was a plan for that for it had always been in the works for them.

He holds on to the precious stars that Oikawa has given them, and he feels no sorrow. He does not even care if Oikawa doesn’t love him back. They were bound to each other in ways that didn’t necessitate a romantic relationship and while Iwaizumi would not yearn for that next step, and his eyes will continue to allow the flow of galaxies to grace his cheeks. Oikawa doesn’t know how radiant he is in Iwaizumi’s eyes and Iwaizumi doesn’t know how to show him but he’s planned to show him the stars that Oikawa had plucked from the sky and gifted him that warm summer night once they finish their last year.

The only ones who knew anything were Hanamaki and Matsukawa but not by any admission on Iwaizumi’s behalf. Hanamaki happened to see him their first year and what Hanamaki knew, Matsukawa learned not much later. It wasn’t as if it were a mystery either. Who else would it be than Oikawa? There seemed to be nobody else that stole Iwaizumi’s breath away like the other did and he doubted there ever will. It didn’t help that the couple had been particularly adamant of him revealing the stars to Oikawa once they found out.

“What are you scared of? This is Oikawa! You’ve known him your whole life, he wouldn’t push you away, even if you had murdered someone!” had proclaimed Hanamaki in exasperation after Matsukawa and he had spent the better half of an hour convincing him to confess at the earliest possible moment.

It had nothing to do with fear, but a knowledge that what they said was true. In there lied the issue, Oikawa had these goals that shone just as bright as he did and he had already followed Iwaizumi to Aobajohsai, despite the fact that the prestigious Shiratorizawa would’ve accepted him into the team easily. Through his blurry memories, he distinctly remembers Oikawa’s stern face as he stared up at the tower that was Ushijima and declared he would win, face absolutely wicked and determined, eyes hard as steel.

_“We will make fertile ground out of the barren wasteland you see and beat you,”_

Iwaizumi was content with how the universe had sorted out his cards, despite what others may believe. It was no tragedy for him, and he has confidence that for whatever the life ahead of them holds for Oikawa and him, they won’t be separated so severely. They relied on each other, but they were their own independent people who had their own hopes and dreams, have built up plans that were shared not in what they sought out to do, but with the bond they fostered together. Oikawa was going to the big stage and Iwaizumi was content letting Oikawa shine under the light because, at the end of the day, Oikawa had Iwaizumi and Iwaizumi had Oikawa whole-heartedly and that won’t change regardless of distance or time.

The school year will end soon, only one last chance to go to nationals, one last time to beat Shiratorizawa. Then, it would be time to show Oikawa the stars he collected for him for the past six years and Oikawa will either accept his advances or they will continue as they always have. The two of them have weathered through the harshest of fights, where the anger burns deep and fears run deeper. Where regular tears are shared, and apologies are exchanged in whispers. Iwaizumi was not scared. He had been ready since he was twelve years old, with stars in the sky, stars in his hand, and Oikawa right next to him, as always.

**Author's Note:**

> [Tumblr](https://lunatijeras.tumblr.com/)


End file.
